Are you relaxing

Once Zail singh was relaxing in a park. Some kids playing nearby
decided to pull his leg. Walking up to him they asked him,

"Sir are you relaxing?" Zail singh replied, "No, I am Zail Singh!"

The kids started laughing wildly and ran off. This terribly confused
Zail Singh and he decided to check it out. He walked up to a guy who
was relaxing o= n a bench near him and asked,

"Are you relaxing?" The man replied, "Yes, why do you ask?"
Zail Singh answered with satisfaction, "Then those kids are probably
looking for you!"

Wash Basin

A Sardarji goes to a hotel and eats heartily.
After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts
washing the basin instead.

The manager comes running and asks him,
"Sir, what are you doing?"

To this the Sardar replies,
"Hey  i am following your instruction written over basin.

'Wash Basin'.

Twice a Week

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He
promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc.

Then he came to the column SEX.

He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much
thought.......

He wrote: Twice a week

Three Dead Bodies

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big
smiles on their faces.

A Detective Inspector is sent and is taken straight to the first body.

"This guy was an Englishman, 60, died of heart failure while making love
to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile Inspector", says the mortuary chief.

The DI nods understandingly and is taken to the second dead man.
"This was an American, 25, won 124 million dollars in the PowerBall,
spent it all on booze. Died o alcohol poisoning, hence the contended smile."

"Nothing unusual here", thinks the DI, and asks to be shown the last body.

"Ah," says the chief, "this is the most unusual one, a Sardar, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.

"Thought he was having his picture taken," replies the chief.

Not giving birth to my Son

A sardarji, his wife, and son, after spending a hectic trip to
South are returning home by train.

On the way, they fall asleep; the sardar on the lower birth, his
wife on the middle, and the son, on the upper one.

In one of the stations, the son gets up and wakes up his father asking for
an ice-cream. Both get out and after buying him, they return to the
compartment, only to find a stranger occupying the upper birth, and snoring peacefully.

Sardar is frustrated, after repeatedly trying to get rid of the man.

He finally calls the Ticket Checker, a pure Madrasi, to his aid and in his
best English, explains his plight to him,

"An unknown person lying over my wife, not giving birth to my son"

Stupid Santa

One sardar painfully shouts: “Santa! Your daughter has died!”

Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor

On reaching 50th floor, he remembers that he doesn’t have a daughter!

On reaching 25th floor, he realizes that he is still unmarried!!

On reaching 10th floor, he finally understands that he is Banta, and not Santa!!!

Sardar Back Again

1. Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d compliment"

2 .How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher
erases the board.

3. Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on
other so the man asked him why did he do so? He replied that the
weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on
the other hand it would be hot.

4. Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from
Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached
there
in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to
return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he
didn't reach in
the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home
on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre
Puttar, ki
hoya?" The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long
journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste
chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"

5. Teacher: Can you tell me something about Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Saradji: They were 4 best friends..!

6. Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne
Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

7. How can a Sardar Kill a Lion? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard &
comes to a
conclusion: I'll drink poison n let lion eat me. O' bolo ta ra ra.

9. Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When
a
Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies
Yaar...!!!

10. Sardar with a new mobile called everyone from his Phone Book &
said "My MobileNo. has changed Earlier it was Nokia 3310 Now it is
6610"

11. Sardar falls in Love with Nurse. He writes a Love letter to her,
" I LOVE U SISTER."

12. What is Common between: Krishna , Ram, Gandhi ji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied: All are born on Government Holidays.

13. Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour ,
Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey
Santa: Oh, I thought it was its Skin...!!!

14. Sardar Son: O God! Please make New York the capital of Punjab .
Sardar: Why are you praying for that?
Sardar Son: That is what I have written in my exam

My Kidney

Sardarji went to party and introduced his family to his friends.
I am Sardar and this is sardarney,
this is my kid and this is my kidney.

Difference

What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE ........

Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai......

Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai

Fine for Parking

Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area.

The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.
"They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh.
" It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

Small Jokes

Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says "Hi, Main Bol Raha
Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

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A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the table.
The guest asked what is this?
The Sardar didn't know English, he said "Milk sleeping in night, morning
becomes tight"

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Once a sardarji tries to cheat the Indian railways. He is thinking for a
novel idea. He thinks a lot and finally he did one thing, he bought the
ticket and didn't travel.

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A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The sardar behind him in the line
said,
"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks(****).
The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong. Its 1258."


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What is the height of stupidity?
2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat

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Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has two swimming
pools,one of which is always empty?
It's for people who can't swim!

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Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

*********************************************

What do you call a Sardarji in a deep well?
A deep thinker..

*********************************************

Sardarji calls Air India. 'How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?'
'Just a sec,' says the customer service assistant.
'Thank you.' says the Sardarji and hangs up.

*********************************************

Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
'Haan' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'

*********************************************

Once Santa Singh was riding a cycle and he suddenly hit a girl! So girl
shouted, 'Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!'
And sardarji replied, 'Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se
maroon??!!!'

Short Sardarji Jokes

Joke 1
Srdr: I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

Joke 2
Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody will b
there............. Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there

Joke 3
A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up. U know y?
FORM say " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".

Joke 4
A sardar invested 5 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab village!.

Joke 5
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

Joke 6
Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

Joke 7
19 SARDARS WENT 4A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN A BIG GROUP OF 19?
THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY FOR ABOVE 18...

Joke 8
A sardar ji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral
function, suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Joke 9
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

Joke 10
Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on the
branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Srdr: "I've been
promoted as branch manager."

Joke 11
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth.................
WHY?
because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should be light"_-=

Joke 12
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as
to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!

Joke 13
SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF - I SARDAR,SHE
SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY KIDNEY....

Joke 14
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.
U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...

Joke 15
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It"s already
raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.

Joke 16
Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa

Joke 17
ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM,DARLING ON OUR
ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING?
HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER

Joke 18
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Joke 19
A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar: I have a Air cell phone but still hutch network is following
me.

Joke 20
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after
deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20Rs back.!

Joke 21
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket
match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

Joke 22
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

Joke 23
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

Joke 24
Sardar proposed a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to
you'...........Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT
YEAR.

Joke 25
WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?
** THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.

Joke 26
Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10

Joke 27
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa who died peacefuly
in his sleep not screaming like all d passengers in d car he was
driving..

Joke 28
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what
you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

Joke 29
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

Joke 30
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in punjab . Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for more..

Joke 31
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.

Joke 32
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"

Joke 33
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-I m seeing how i look while sleeping.

Smart Smuggling

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'

Smartest Sardar

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa.

"Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.

"This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

Sardarji Jokes

1. Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets andstarted to eat them."You can't eat your own sandwiches in here,"complained the pub-owner.So the two sardars swapped (exchanged) theirsandwiches.
2. A sardar was very fond of sensational and detectivenovels,but he always started reading from the middle.A friend of his asked why he did so?" It'z doubly interesting" , said the Sardar. "TO startfrom the middle keeps one curious not only about itsconclusion but also about its beginning
3. Once a Sardarji was going to his office.On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badlyhurt.Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed abanana peel and Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed" ari sala, aaj to choicehai"!!!!!!
4. A Sardar died and went to heaven. When he got to thepearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenlysoul must answer two questions:1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".2. How many seconds are there in a year? The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" areToday and Tomorrow.2. There are 12 seconds in a year.Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected,so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12seconds in a year?"The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc...." Saint Peter lets him in without another word
5. Nurse - "Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye.."Sardarji - " Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main usesurprise doonga..!"
6. Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to bepained in front of his clinic but our Sardar painterpainted "Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist"
7. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE .........Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai......Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai
8. Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machisleke aaya hai, ek bhi tili nahin jalti.Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karkelaya hu.
9. Man runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I justwon the 10 Million lotto.Wife : Do I pack for the beach or mountains ?Man : Who cares ? Just pack and get lost !
10. Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka bloodgroup ek hi hai?Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jopee rahi hai....
11. A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard in Punjabtoday....... .Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and arestill..... digging for more.
12. Sardar found answer to most difficult questionquestion ever What comes first - the chicken or theegg ?O yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!
13. A Lady is on top of a hill and she is going to push her Father down fromthe hill top.....So what is the name of this evil lady ???........................Well, her Name is PUSH-PA!!!!! !!!!!
14. Ek bar Sardar Gangubai ke ghar jata hai aur darwaja knock karta hai...Gangubai:"Kaun? "Sardar:"Main! "Gangubai:"Main kaun?" Sardar:"tu gangubai!!!! !"
15. disclosure : Jokes displayed aboved are not intended to hurt sardar community, we apologize in advance to the community.