Redneck Vacations

Billy Bob and Lester are talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Lester, "Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your suggestions on where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Marie got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Marie got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Marie didn't get pregnant again!"

Lester asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Marie with me."

Redneck Back Again

How does a blonde haired blue eyed Alabaman spell the word farm? -- E I E I O

What do a Redneck divorcee and a Tornado have in common? -- either way, you're gonna lose your trailer...

Why did the redneck drive his pickup truck over the edge of a cliff? -- He wanted to test out his new air brakes.

THE NATIONAL TRANSPORT SAFETY BOARD

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the U.S. auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black box voice recorders in pick-up trucks.This was done in an effort to determine, when accidents occured, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash. They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of crashes were, "Oh, Shit".Only the state of Montana was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were:"Hold my beer and watch this!"