The city is never the same when the stock market goes down. People become moody, irrational and downright spiteful. They look at you with vengeance as if you are responsible for the losses sustained by them. The wives shout at their husbands, bosses at their sub-ordinates and all of them at their children and house-maids.
The morning after the crash is the most dangerous period because that is when the hang-over of the loss plays truant on the senses of the individuals. People go about in the government offices with a sour face and nasty look, barking at each other and spitting on the wall corners to get the trauma out of the system. Any one walking into the banks, insurance offices or other government outfits, could become an innocent victim of what is commonly known as bear market syndrome.
It works like this:
“Sir, there is a letter from a retired government officer that he hasn’t received his pension for the last three months.
”So what? The heavens are not going to fall if he did not receive it for another three months? Let him wait like everyone else. The government’s job is not only to pay pension. It has other priorities too. If he had taken up a job he would not be looking for a government dole-out every month.”
“Sir, he is over 70 years of age.”
“So is Vajpayee, Advani and so many others. It does not mean people should not work.”
At CIDCO they are about to decide on a Rs.200-crore flyover at Vashi. The chief engineer reports “The survey team says that the contractor has met all our specifications and is waiting for our go-ahead.”
“Impossible. Everyone knows that if all our specifications are met, it will be impossible to build a wall let alone a fly-over. We should refuse permission and float fresh tenders.”
“But Vashi residents would be disappointed. They have been looking forward to this bridge for the last 10 years.”
“They should have thought of that when they hammered RNRL yesterday afternoon.”
“Sir Vashi residents did not have any hand in RNRL fall.”
“That’s what everyone says. If no one hammered how did it fall?”
At SBI Main Branch the scene is no better. The Deputy Manager asks the Branch Manager “Mr. Naik would you like to have some coffee?”
“No, I think I will call it a day. Ask Mulji to close the teller, clearing and forex counters with immediate effect. There is no point in pretending that everything is all right when it isn’t.”
”Our customers won’t like it.”
“Neither did we when we sold power stocks like mad.”
The senior ITO at Aayakar Bhavan is equally in a bad mood.
“Mr. Mehta, I am sending your file to CBI for foreign exchange violation. Don’t ask me the reasons. If you had seen yesterday’s quotations you’d not be asking such silly questions.”
BMC too take the happenings in the stock market very seriously.
A lower division clerk in the demolition section runs to the boss “Sir, I’ve just received a report that a new unauthorized structure is coming up in the slums close to the governor’s bungalow. Two floors are already complete and they are planning a swimming pool and a tennis court on the third. Shall we alert our Demolition squad? They will enjoy having a go at it.”
“Not at all. It is good to know that in these times of bear assault at least some thing is going up. Just write a report and file it off.”
Friday, February 15, 2008
BEAR MARKET SYNDROME
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Bull Market v/s Bear Market
This Bull Market run is so great that --my kids ask for better stock options as their allowance these days.
This Bull Market run is so great that --my taxi driver tells me to call his hedge fund and ask for his pal the manager.
This Bull Market run is so great that --I saw talk of a Rs100 million IPO for Eskimos selling quality vada pav. -- without a website.
This Bull Market run is so great that --they are thinking of making those green jackets for the winner of your favorite golf tournament out of real 100 dollar bills. Really!
This Bull Market run is so great that --my uncle wants to be buried with glossy pictures of ALL his favorite CNBC ladies.
I don't want to say this Bear Market is bad, but --I just got a margin call on my bar tab.
I don't want to say this Bear Market is bad, but --the real bears at the zoo are wearing tuxedos and drinking champagne.
I don't want to say this Bear Market is bad, but --the Atlanta Fed is talking about bringing back confederate currency.
I don't want to say this Bear Market is bad, but --even that paid vacation with my wife's family is starting to sound better.
I don't want to say this Bear Market is bad, but --my broker lady sounds like that witch from the "Veerana" movie when I ask her to sell my shares
A stock analyst and a Dalal Street broker
A stock analyst and a Dalal Street broker went to the races. The broker suggested to bet 1,00,000 on a horse. The analyst was sceptical, saying that he wanted first to understand the rules, to look on horses, etc. The broker whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for the success, but he could not convince the analyst.
"You are too theoretical," he said and bet on a horse. Surely, that horse came first bringing him a lot of money. Triumphantly, he exclaimed: "I told you, I knew the secret!""What is your secret?" the analyst asked."It is rather easy. I have two kids, three and five year old. I sum up their ages and I bet on number nine.""But, three and five is eight," the analyst protested."I told you, you are too theoretical!" the broker replied, "Haven't I just shown experimentally that my calculation is correct?!"
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Reliance Shares Nick Names
- RPL - Raha Paisa TO Lenge
- RNRL - Rona Nahi Phir Bhi Ro Lenge
- RIL - Risk In Life
- REL - Roz Ek Lafda
- R POWER - Power On To MKT Ka Fuse Off
