Bull Market v/s Bear Market

This Bull Market run is so great that --my kids ask for better stock options as their allowance these days.

This Bull Market run is so great that --my taxi driver tells me to call his hedge fund and ask for his pal the manager.

This Bull Market run is so great that --I saw talk of a Rs100 million IPO for Eskimos selling quality vada pav. -- without a website.

This Bull Market run is so great that --they are thinking of making those green jackets for the winner of your favorite golf tournament out of real 100 dollar bills. Really!

This Bull Market run is so great that --my uncle wants to be buried with glossy pictures of ALL his favorite CNBC ladies.

I don't want to say this Bear Market is bad, but --I just got a margin call on my bar tab.

I don't want to say this Bear Market is bad, but --the real bears at the zoo are wearing tuxedos and drinking champagne.

I don't want to say this Bear Market is bad, but --the Atlanta Fed is talking about bringing back confederate currency.

I don't want to say this Bear Market is bad, but --even that paid vacation with my wife's family is starting to sound better.

I don't want to say this Bear Market is bad, but --my broker lady sounds like that witch from the "Veerana" movie when I ask her to sell my shares