The Two Idiots

Two Idiots go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to the shore.

The first Idiot says: "I hope you remember the spot where we caught all those fish."

The other answers: "Yes, I made an 'X' on that side of the boat to mark the spot."

"You idiot!" replies the first. "How do you know we will get the same boat tomorrow?"

New License

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time.

Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.

"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive,just like you've been doing to me all these years."

THE IMPORTED SPORTS CAR

The work of a certain timid but thorough law clerk was valued for its precision, so soon he was making money to buy himself a nice imported sports car. Not long afterwards he had the misfortune to get lost in the worst part of town, and when he stopped at a red light a huge, mean son-of-a-bitch hauled him out of the driver's seat. Drawing a circle around him on the pavement, the hoodlum told him not to set foot out of it unless he wanted the shit beat out of him. The delinquent proceeded to demolish the car, starting with the headlights and windows, when he heard the law clerk giggling.He moved on to the body and engine, but in between crashes he couldn't help hearing gales of laughter. Finally, crowbar in hand, he came over to his victim and demanded, "What you laughing about? Your fancy car's never gonna run again." "So?" the clerk gasped helplessly, tears running down his face. "Ever since you started tearing up my car, I've been stepping in and out of this circle, in and out, in and out..."