Dog Watch

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

Rabbits Revenge

Rabbit's Revenge Once upon a time there was a bear and a rabbit that hated each other guts. One day whilst arguing in the forrest, the bear lost his temper and kicked an old lamp that had been left by campers. To their surprize a genie popped out and granted them each three wishes. The bear went first and he said,"I wish to be the only male bear in this forrest." His wish was granted. The Genie turned to the rabbit who said "I want a motorcycle helmet." And he got his wish. "And for your second wish bear?" Demanded the genie, "I wish to be the only male bear in the United States, and all the rest to be female." He got his wish. The rabbit without delay took his second wish, "I wish I had a motorcycle to go with that helmet." "Final wish bear!" Bellowed the genie. The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world, and all the rest were females." After having his wish granted he smirked at the rabbit and strutted off into the forrest. The rabbits eyes lit up, he turned to the genie and he said, "For my last wish, I wish that bear was gay."

THOSE NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY PETS

A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another".The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."The bartender says "Geez, what did you say."The man says " I told him, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!"