Blonde Goes To Work After Many Years

The Real Bastard

Blonde: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?
Blonde: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist kissed the Blonde )
Blonde: ......Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
Blonde: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist put his hand in the Blonde's top )
Blonde: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
Blonde: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist took off the Blonde's clothes )
Blonde: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
Blonde: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST:You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist had sex with the Blonde )
Blonde: .Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST:Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
Blonde: But, then he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!

Medical Compliment

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, ''You have acute appendicitis.''

The blond yelled at the doctor... ''I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!!''

A Blonde Visit to D.C.

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions - "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"

The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.

Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.

The officer got out of his car and said, "Excuse me, but to get to the Capitol building, I said to wait here for the number 54 bus and that was three hours ago! Why are you still waiting?"

The blonde replied, "Don't worry, officer, it won't be long now. The 45th bus just went by!"

THE BLONDE TELEGRAM

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde, she'll read it very slow."