A case of kiss and a slap

Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya rai and Sonia are traveling in a train. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark. Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed. Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

Sonia is thinking:
These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya. Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

Aishwarya is thinking:
Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

Bush is thinking:
Damn it. Manmohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

Manmohan is thinking:
If this train goes through another tunnel I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again.

Job Titles

In line with our constitution and to eliminate discrimination in our society, the following titles will now be used for these jobs:

Garden Boy - Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist

House Maid - Family Environs Upkeep Manager

Typist - Printed Document Handler

Messenger - Business Communications Conveyer

Window Cleaner - A Transparent Wall Technician

Tea Boy - Refreshments Overseer

Garbage Collector - Public Sanitation Technicians

Watchman - Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer or Wealth Distribution Prevention Officer

Prostitute - Practical Sexual Relations Demonstrator

Thief - Wealth Distribution Officer

Receptionist - Office Access Control Specialist

Cook - Food Preparation Officer

Office Orderly - Office Administration Facilitator

Cleaner - Office Hygiene Control Specialist

Make whole Country Happy

Bill, Hillary and Kerry are flying on Kerry's wife's private jet. Bill looks at Hillary, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make somebody extremely happy." Hillary shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy."

Kerry says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people somewhat happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them and says to his co-pilot, "I could throw all of them out the window and make this whole country happy

Laloo Prasad's resume to Microsoft

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft
Corporation, USA.

A few days later he got this reply:

"Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad, You do not meet our requirements. Please do
not
send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks

Bill Gates".
---------------------------------------------------------------------

Laloo Prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged
a Grand Party and when all the guests had come, he said: "Bhaiyon
aur Bahino, aap ko ee jaan kar bahutahi khusi hogee ki humka Amreeca
maain naukari mil gayee hai.

Everyone was delighted.

Laloo Prasad continued......
"Ab main aap sabko apnaa appointment letter padh kar sunaongaa
-
par letter angrezee main hai - isiliye saath-saath hindi mein
translate bhi
karoonga.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya

You do not meet ----- aap to miltay hi naaheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- ab Letter vetter
bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavaad.
Bill Gates ----- Bilva.

Political Brains

A Guy walks into a store. He sees three brains on display. One is a Libertarian Brain, priced at $250. The second is a Democrat Brain, priced at $275. The third is a Republican Brain, priced at $5,000,000. The guy asks the sales clerk, "why does the Republican brain cost so much more than the other two?"The clerk replies, "well, sir, that brain has never been used."

CLINTON'S BIGGEST BILL

President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him. "What is it?" exclaims the President."It's the Abortion Bill, Mr. President - what do you want to do about it?""Just go ahead and pay it."